I Don't Deserve You
by fandom-hunters
Summary: Set three years after the epilogue of City of Heavenly Fire, containing spoilers, mainly in chapter two. Details of Jace and Clary's wedding day. Three-shot, two chapters in this one. Lemon outtake of the wedding night in my next story.


**A/N**

**I'd first like to momentarily sarcastically gripe about how they list Jace's name in the character options. Wayland?! Seriously?! It's Herondale now, folks. Or Lightwood. Even Lightwood is better than Wayland... BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!**

**That passed, hellooo Mortal Instruments fans! I consider it a privilege to get to write for you! But we all wouldn't be here today if it weren't for Cassandra Clare. I take no credit whatsoever for her amazing characters or anything else you recognize of hers from this story. Only my own thoughts. I do use multiple songs in this and I will mention them at the end of the chapters. All credit goes to the brilliant talents of those authors.**

**This story is set three years after the epilogue of Cassandra's newest release, City of Heavenly Fire. And warning THERE ARE SPOILERS! IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE BOOK AND DO NOT WISH TO BE SPOILED, EXIT NOW AND DO NOT RETURN UNTIL YOU FEEL IT IS SAFE TO DO SO! Dutifully warned, I will now let you know that this is a three-shot, but this story will only have two chapters. The content of the wedding is easily a T and I do not want to detract from the value of this story by giving it a higher rating because of the content of the last chapter. So that being said, there will be a lemony outtake of the final chapter in a separate story. The first chapter will be the wedding ceremony, the second the reception, the third the wedding night.**

**Now, I'm sure you all are dying to get on with the story, so I will let you.**

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><p><span>I Don't Deserve You<span>

Chapter 1 - The Wedding

Clary paused before the double cherry-oak doors that marked the entrance to the sanctuary, waiting for the swirling music inside to beckon her in. She felt a small pressure at her back, Luke. She gave him a weak smile, though genuine through her nerves, and threaded her arm through his. The doors swung open and the music changed from the processional to something she'd chosen as a replacement to the Bridal March.

Her first glimpse inside the chapel brought tears to her eyes. A brilliant sunlight came in gold and blue and red through the stained glass windows, splashing over the pews lacquered in golden lapels and white orchids. Isabelle already stood in front on the left, with her mother and Emma. She smiled fondly at the memory of asking the girl to be one of her bridesmaids. On the right stood Simon, former brother Zachariah - whom they'd later found out to have been originally named Jem Carstairs - and Alec. As did Magnus, whom would be obtaining the role of minister for the short ceremony. When Clary had questioned him about it, he'd brushed her concern away with a simple explanation of having picked up quite a few interesting hobbies throughout the years.

But none of them held her attention for more than a passing glance. Her gaze came to a rest on Jace, and drank the sight of him in. He was dressed in a golden suit and tie, white dress shirt under the jacket and black dress shoes the only other colors on his attire. His mouth was slightly agape, showing the chip in his left incisor, and there was a fare amount of blush in his cheeks, though he still looked inordinately pale. His hair and eyes seemed more golden than ever, set apart by the color in his jacket.

She kept her eyes trained on him as she made her way down the aisle, her arm in Luke's the only thing keeping her from stumbling. The fabric of her dress swayed against her ankles with each step. They were soon beside the first pew, where he would be sitting. They drew to a stop and he turned to kiss her cheek before placing the veil over her head, but she turned so he pecked her lips instead.

She drew him in for a hug. "Butterfly kisses," she said near his ear, referring to a song they'd both listen to at night before bed for years. "Daddy, don't cry." She'd taken to calling him "Dad" or "Daddy" after he'd married Jocelyn. She pulled back and let him place the veil over her head. Jace had come forward while they were embracing and Luke handed her off to him, before taking a seat in the front pew, the rest of their guests taking the cue to sit as well.

Magnus stepped forward, "We join here today in holy matrimony - "

The rest was lost on Clary, all except Jace's eyes, which looked down on her with intense love and openly stated lust. She felt secure in those eyes; when everything else in the world was disorder, they were her safe haven. She was pulled from her thoughts by his voice, beginning the vows they'd edited.

"I'll - "

Clary joined him, " - never give up when you're falling apart, my arms are always opened wide. I'll be quick to forgive when you make a mistake - " Clary felt the hot tip of the stele against her arm. Jace had taken it out while they were speaking and had begun to draw the first rune of love on her wrist. She met his gaze again, she'd only broken away briefly when he'd started to Mark her, but hadn't faltered in her speech. "- We don't deserve our love, but we give it anyways. We can't get enough, I'll be everything you need - " his hand brushed aside the silky fabric of her veil and part of her dress above her heart and set the stele against the sensitive skin there. Her whole body was shaking now, her voice trembling, unchecked tears raining down her face. " - and when you walk away, I'll take off running and come right after you." He finished the rune and handed the stele to her. The chill of it immediately stilled her hand. He'd rolled the sleeve of his left arm up and she set it to the scarred skin of his wrist, speaking her own separate line.

"You're heart is golden. How am I the one that you've chosen to love?" She finished the rune and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, loosening the tie. She brushed the material aside and drew there, over the scars that rightly should've taken his life.

He spoke his line then, "I don't deserve a chance like this. I don't deserve a love that gives me everything, you're everything I want."

Her voice joined his again and together they rose in volume, until they were nearly shouting, "I still can't believe that you're right next to me, after all that we've done." She'd finished the rune and the stele hovered over his chest, over the new rune that shone gold instead of black like the other's had looked. She felt Jace's hand on hers, sliding something onto her finger. She looked down, saw it was a ring, but also that the once-black rune was gold now as well.

She'd forgotten that she was supposed to be speaking, but Jace hadn't, and he'd continued on alone, " - You've given me a reason to keep trying. You've given me everything I could dream, and you bring me to my knees."

Clary took a ring from the folds of her dress and held his hand lightly in her own as she slowly slid it over his calloused finger. He'd stopped speaking, and she said the last line alone, quietly enough she was sure only the first couple of rows could've possibly heard her.

"You're what I can't live without."

Their eyes met for a moment, and Magnus stepped forward again.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

He gently raised the veil covering her face. She wound her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers into the curls at the back of his head as his mouth crashed down on hers. She pulled harder at his hair, longing for closer, closer. Desperate for more. More of him, more of this -

The crowd burst into applause, and it brought her back to reality, but not down from her high. She broke off the kiss, burying her head in his neck. Her breathing was harsh as she inhaled him, half laughing, half sobbing into his wrinkled shirt. So many years. So many years of death and turmoil and hardship, and now they had a chance to settle down, start a family, be happy. So for a change, these weren't sad tears, but tears of relief and joy and love. She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. No more did she have to worry about all the people she'd lost, no more did she have to worry if something were about to come and rip her from Jace forever, because she had a new identity, in him. Never would she forget the lives lost, never would she forget the hard journey it was to get here. Forever, those would be scars on her heart, never healed, but placed over by happy memories. She thought back to something Jem had said years ago when he'd been Brother Zachariah. "Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable." She'd so wanted to believe it then, and now she did.

Now she did.

She lifted her head and told this to Jace, now. He smiled, lacing their fingers together. the look in his eyes was something she'd never quite seen before. There were no guards, no walls, no bitterness or snappy comebacks, no years of loss and grief. Just happiness and relief and love. And love. In that moment, she was sure he was thinking the same thing she was, a passive agreements of thoughts and emotions by the bonding of two hearts.

He brought their foreheads together, "It's what we do."

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><p><strong>AN - So the song that I mentioned at the beginning is "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle. It's a song my Dad and I would listen to before bed for years, as I wrote into the story. I take complete creative license on that. I also dedicate the first two chapters to my Dad. There's parts of this story that I imagine happening at my own very-much-in-the-future wedding. And some of those are the father-daughter dance next chapter, and in this chapter when he walked her down the aisle. My Dad is a very awesome man, and I wish you would all have the chance to meet him. While he does not particularly care about my fanfiction or any fandoms that I'm in, he knows I've dedicated these chapters to him.**

**Secondly, the vows are edited lyrics of "I Don't Deserve You" by Plumb.**

**Until next chapter,**

**Happy Reading!**

~fandom-hunters~


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